On Feb 4, 11:32 pm, The Historian wrote:

NNES HIRED TO "CARE ABOUT CHESS"

[Should be "INNES"]


CROSSVILLE, TN - The United States Chess Federation announced today
that it had hired internationally known

[Should be "renowned"]


Nearly an IM Philip Keith Innes
to "care about chess in the US", according to USCF Executive Director
Bill Hall. "Nearly an IM Innes has shown a great deal of caring
about US chess, despite his complete absence from organized chess play
or governance, and we at the USCF feel having him care about US chess
is worth the expense of paying him", Hall said. "He KNOWS at
least two native born GMs - in fact the only two the US has, and so he
brings a tremendous background experience to his caring", added USCF
Executive Board Member Don Schultz.

Innes, who posseses the prestigious Nearly an IM title, lives in
Brattleboro, Vermont, where he divides his time between caring about
US chess and refusing to become a member of his local chess club, state
chess body, Chess Journalists of America, and USCF. The terms of the
deal between Innes and USCF are
not officially known, but off the record sources reveal that Innes
will be required to stop posting to newsgroups.

Nonsense. There is nothing in the (very lucrative)
contract which prohibits nearly-IMnes from posing
-- I mean posting -- anonymously. This was a hotly
debated point, in view of PI's other lucrative contracts
(with the Evans ratpack and with Rob da robber
Mitchell, to name but two).


"We were concerned that
Nearly an IM Innes' newsgroup posts might blunt the full impact of his
caring about US chess," said USCF Executive Board Member Joel
Channing,
"since they could be read by the unimformed as semiliterate, whining
screeds."

Good point; but I think it's worth the risk.
After all, if nearly-IMnes is not paid to care
about chess, then just who do we, the chess
players, expect to do it for us?

Typically, *everybody* wants chess to get
cared about, but no one is willing to pick up
the tab; pay the piper. Look, this is America;
if you want to protect democracy, you have
learn that freedom comes at a price (which
varies, depending on which politicians you
are paying off). I say pay the man, and get
him a proof-reader who speaks Bochi.


-- help bot