My beloved brothers in chess:

I am so happy to be back with you again. I know how much you all
missed me. Remember all the fun we used to have with The Drunken Lord?
I miss him too! I haven't been a regular here since I challenged
everybody to solve a problem in a certain number of moves, and then
called everyone who proved it couldn't be done an idiot. I was kind of
embarrassed, so I stayed away for a while. I've had no one to insult
all these months, no one whose chess rating I can ridicule (even when
I don't know what it is), no one with whom I can enter into lively and
interesting discussions about history. Ah, what good times I've known
here! It's really great to be back.

Some of you will notice I have been doing a much better job
partitioning my multiple personalities. I've decided that I can
establish some good will by posting seemingly sincere questions and
starting a thread. Then I reply to my own posts under the name GEACPS.
Under this persona I am able to dazzle you all again with my
rhetorical prowess and spelling mistakes. I can't believe you didn't
recognize me! Didn't you notice that I never posted again as "Jason"
after the initial post? (Wasn't that subtle of me?) I tried dropping
little hints as "GEACPS", such as writing as if I were in charge of
the thread and berating anyone whom I felt was off topic. After all,
I'd set the topic, so I should know! Other little hints were calling
people names, questioning their chess skills and sexual preferences.
What larks, eh? I just love it! And you thought everyone with
"shaw.ca" after their email address was simply an obnoxious ****!

Well, I just wanted to draw the veil and let you all know how much I
deeply love you. You are my first thought in the morning, and my last
before I hit the hay. Already I'm at work in my little laboratory
cooking up new threads to start and then reply to.

Keep in touch!

Jason