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Why not build a USCF headquarters in Far Rockaway?



 
 
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  #1  
Old October 21st 04, 05:52 PM posted to rec.games.chess.politics,rec.games.chess.misc,alt.chess
Sam Sloan
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Posts: 1,558
Default Why not build a USCF headquarters in Far Rockaway?

Why not build a USCF headquarters in Far Rockaway?

I just moved to Far Rockaway, Queeens, New York, just south of JFK
Airport.

An old cellmate of mine from jail in Afghanistan gave me his apartment
to pay the rent while he goes back to Afghanistan to fight in the war
against Brother Osama.

I now have a beautiful apartment on the 19th Floor overlooking the
Atlantic Ocean and far into Long Island.

Right now, I am looking down at a huge empty plot of land. I would say
that it is at least 80 acres, the biggest empty space I have ever seen
in New York City.

There might be a reason why nobody has built there. It is right on the
Ocean Front. Perhaps the ground is too soft and it is thought that a
building will sink into the water. However, with a 20 story building,
my building, right across the street, that cannot be the reason.

Perhaps special permits are needed to build so close to the Atlantic
Ocean.

I propose that the USCF explore the possibility of building right
here. It has to be better to building in Crossville, Tennessee.

Here are some of the benefits.

We will be in New York City, next to JFK Airport. True, Far Rockaway
is the most remote place in New York City and more than one hour by
Subway from Midtown Manhattan, but this is still a lot better than
Crossville.

We have a great abundance of low cost labor readily available. Every
night, unauthorized Chinese immigrants swim ashore right here. We can
just put up a sign in Chinese facing the ocean saying that jobs are
available here. The two rated chess experts who are USINS immigration
officials can do nothing about this because they cannot read Chinese.

The company I worked for the past seven years are experts at building
buildings in New York City on the cheap. They have armies of
Bangladeshis, Chinese and Vietnamese who build their buildings. Nobody
can build cheaper than they can.

USCF Employees on their lunch break can go swimming on Rockaway Beach,
which will be right outside the USCF Offices. Better yet, there is a
famous nude beach just down the beach in Jacob Riis Park.

Being right next to JFK Airport, we can even pick up chess dignitaries
as they arrive from overseas and receive and deliver shipments of
goods.

So this is a far better deal in every way than the Crossville Deal.
However, I need time to put it together. How about giving me two
weeks?

Sam Sloan

  #2  
Old October 21st 04, 05:59 PM posted to rec.games.chess.politics,rec.games.chess.misc,alt.chess
The Masked Bishop
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Posts: 41
Default Why not build a USCF headquarters in Far Rockaway?

Every night, unauthorized Chinese immigrants swim ashore right here.

Chess masters all. Stock up on towels, so they don't drip all over the books
and equipment.

The two rated chess experts who are USINS immigration officials can do

nothing about this because they cannot read Chinese.

Whew, I'm glad we have THAT covered...this could work!! Billy, you bring
your slingshot, I'll get Dad's flashlight...

They have armies of Bangladeshis, Chinese and Vietnamese who build their

buildings.

Oh yes, all hailing from the famous schools of architecture on the Pacific
rim. No pesky fire regulations!

USCF Employees on their lunch break can go swimming on Rockaway Beach,

which will be right outside the USCF Offices. Better yet, there is a famous
nude beach just down the beach in Jacob Riis Park.

All right! Let's get Jen Shahade down there and party!! Can't wait to see
Kalev peel off his speedo.

I think you forgot to take your meds today, Sam.


  #3  
Old October 21st 04, 06:06 PM posted to rec.games.chess.politics,rec.games.chess.misc,alt.chess
The Masked Bishop
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Posts: 41
Default Why not build a USCF headquarters in Far Rockaway?

we can even pick up chess dignitaries

This one is so loaded with possibilities I don't even know where to begin!!


  #4  
Old October 21st 04, 06:16 PM posted to rec.games.chess.politics,rec.games.chess.misc,alt.chess
John A Swartz
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Posts: 52
Default Why not build a USCF headquarters in Far Rockaway?

Sam:

The next time you run for a position in the USCF, please add this
proposal to your candidate's statement.

John



Sam Sloan wrote:

Why not build a USCF headquarters in Far Rockaway?

I just moved to Far Rockaway, Queeens, New York, just south of JFK
Airport.

An old cellmate of mine from jail in Afghanistan gave me his apartment
to pay the rent while he goes back to Afghanistan to fight in the war
against Brother Osama.

I now have a beautiful apartment on the 19th Floor overlooking the
Atlantic Ocean and far into Long Island.

Right now, I am looking down at a huge empty plot of land. I would say
that it is at least 80 acres, the biggest empty space I have ever seen
in New York City.

There might be a reason why nobody has built there. It is right on the
Ocean Front. Perhaps the ground is too soft and it is thought that a
building will sink into the water. However, with a 20 story building,
my building, right across the street, that cannot be the reason.

Perhaps special permits are needed to build so close to the Atlantic
Ocean.

I propose that the USCF explore the possibility of building right
here. It has to be better to building in Crossville, Tennessee.

Here are some of the benefits.

We will be in New York City, next to JFK Airport. True, Far Rockaway
is the most remote place in New York City and more than one hour by
Subway from Midtown Manhattan, but this is still a lot better than
Crossville.

We have a great abundance of low cost labor readily available. Every
night, unauthorized Chinese immigrants swim ashore right here. We can
just put up a sign in Chinese facing the ocean saying that jobs are
available here. The two rated chess experts who are USINS immigration
officials can do nothing about this because they cannot read Chinese.

The company I worked for the past seven years are experts at building
buildings in New York City on the cheap. They have armies of
Bangladeshis, Chinese and Vietnamese who build their buildings. Nobody
can build cheaper than they can.

USCF Employees on their lunch break can go swimming on Rockaway Beach,
which will be right outside the USCF Offices. Better yet, there is a
famous nude beach just down the beach in Jacob Riis Park.

Being right next to JFK Airport, we can even pick up chess dignitaries
as they arrive from overseas and receive and deliver shipments of
goods.

So this is a far better deal in every way than the Crossville Deal.
However, I need time to put it together. How about giving me two
weeks?

Sam Sloan

  #7  
Old October 22nd 04, 06:18 AM posted to rec.games.chess.politics,rec.games.chess.misc,alt.chess
Angelo DePalma
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Posts: 28
Default Why not build a USCF headquarters in Far Rockaway?

Sam,

How will this affect your bid for that congressional seat? I mean, don't you
need a residence in your home district?

By the way, how do you afford such luxury on unemployment checks?

adp

"Sam Sloan" wrote in message
...

I just moved to Far Rockaway, Queeens, New York, just south of JFK
Airport.



  #8  
Old October 22nd 04, 01:07 PM posted to rec.games.chess.politics,rec.games.chess.misc,alt.chess
Sam Sloan
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 1,558
Default Why not build a USCF headquarters in Far Rockaway?

On Fri, 22 Oct 2004 00:18:46 -0400, "Angelo DePalma"
wrote:

Sam,

How will this affect your bid for that congressional seat? I mean, don't you
need a residence in your home district?

By the way, how do you afford such luxury on unemployment checks?

adp

"Sam Sloan" wrote in message
...

I just moved to Far Rockaway, Queeens, New York, just south of JFK
Airport.


I am still maintaining my Brooklyn residence until after the November
election. In any case, it does not matter because the US Constitution,
Article I Section 2, states that to run for Congress one must only be
a resident of the state. It is not necessary to reside in the
Congressional district. The federal courts have also so ruled.

Sam Sloan


  #10  
Old October 22nd 04, 03:49 PM posted to rec.games.chess.politics,rec.games.chess.misc,alt.chess
Sam Sloan
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 1,558
Default Why not build a USCF headquarters in Far Rockaway?

On 22 Oct 2004 05:28:28 -0700, (David Ames)
wrote:

(Sam Sloan) wrote in message ...

I now have a beautiful apartment on the 19th Floor overlooking the
Atlantic Ocean and far into Long Island.

Right now, I am looking down at a huge empty plot of land. I would say
that it is at least 80 acres, the biggest empty space I have ever seen
in New York City.


You mean Central Park. OK. You are right. This is the biggest oipen
space anywhere, except for the public parks.

Aw, come on, Sam. There's more than 80 acres in Manhattan. Just
north of 59th Street. (Or there was, the last time I was there, which
might have been 25 years ago. The air was thick with highly visible
smog.)

There might be a reason why nobody has built there. It is right on the
Ocean Front.


Maybe it's zoned for public beaches? Anyway, watch out for rogue
waves.


The area I am talking about is not the beach, but it is covered with
sand and weeds. One person suggested that the building I live in sits
on bedrock but right across Seagirt Blvd. the bedrock ends and the
sand has been washed up over the eons.

This might be the case. It also might be wildlife protected with birds
nests in among the weeds.

My friend who lived here until he went back to Afghanistan used to
take girls into the weeds and do you-know-what with them. Some of the
weeds are five feet tall and nobody outside could see what they were
doing.

Sam Sloan
 




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