Summons to Chess Tourney!

Are you an utterly obsequious coward? We, the partisans,
paladins, and protagonists of the Exposition Park Chess Club [http://
chess.expoparkla.com/] very greatly desire the attendance of brave
chessplayers.
This coming first Sunday of the month, May 6th, 2007, will be the
occasion of a free, unrated, open three-round chess tournament. Cash
prizes will *NOT* be awarded, but the names of the winners will be
published in the Los Angeles area print media, posted transnationally
in this major, chess-related Usenet newsgroup [rec.games.chess.misc],
as well as celebrated worldwide on our chess club's Web site [http://
chess.expoparkla.com/]. Indeed, early registration (at least 48 hours
in advance!) for the tournament is easiest by visiting our Web site;
Follow the link "online tournament registration".
Players of all skill levels, from the greenest beginner to rated
Master, are invited to compete in this tournament. Tournament
registration, on the day of the tournament, begins at 1:00 PM and ends
promptly at 1:30 PM. The tournament will take place at the Exposition
Park Library [http://www.lapl.org/branches/06.html], located in close
vicinity to the University of Southern California [http://www.lapl.org/
branches/maps/06-m.html].
The Library's address and contact information is:

Exposition Park Regional Library
3665 S Vermont Ave.
Los Angeles, CA 90007
Tel: 1 323 732 0169
Fax: 1 213 612 0540

The Library, with its ample lot parking, opens on Sunday at 1:00
PM, the same time at which in-person tournament registration begins.
Competitors should arrive early so that no delays occur.
By playing in this tournament you will bless the suffering, heal
the troubled, overcome obstacles, soar to heights of passion, give
Dick Cheney a new heart - well, maybe not the Cheny/new heart thing.
Let nothing deter you! Come to this Sunday's May 6th, 2007
tournament for a most challenging time of chess playing!

P.S.: Because of the large attendance that we've had at various of
our previous tournaments, it is strongly advised that if you want to
be certain of being able to play, you should BRING YOUR OWN CHESS SET,
BOARD, AND CLOCK!