Summons to Chess Tourney!

Are you an utterly obsequious coward? We, the partisans,
paladins, and protagonists of the Exposition Park Chess Club [http://
chess.expoparkla.com/] very greatly desire the attendance of brave
chess players.
This first Sunday of the month, Dec. 2nd, 2007, will be the
occasion of a free, unrated, open, three-round chess tournament. Cash
prizes will *NOT* be awarded, but the names of the winners will be
published in the Los Angeles area print media, posted transnationally
in this major, chess-related Usenet newsgroup [rec.games.chess.misc],
as well as celebrated worldwide on our chess club's Web site [http://
chess.expoparkla.com/]. Indeed, early registration (at least 48 hours
in advance!) for the tournament is easiest by visiting our Web site;
Follow the link "online tournament signup".
Players of all skill levels, from the greenest beginner to rated
Master, are invited to compete in this tournament. Tournament
registration, on the day of the tournament, begins at 1:00 PM and ends
promptly at 1:30 PM. The tournament will take place at the Exposition
Park Library [http://www.lapl.org/branches/06.html], located in close
vicinity to the University of Southern California [http://www.lapl.org/
branches/maps/06-m.html].
The Library, with its ample lot parking, opens on Sunday at 1:00
PM, the same time at which in-person tournanent registration begins.
Competitors should arrive early so that no delays occur.
By playing in this tournament you will slay evil dragons, rise
to greatness, lift up the downtrodden, explore the Solar System, raise
George Bush's approval ratings in the polls - well, maybe not the Bush/
approval ratings thing.
Let nothing deter you! Come to the Sunday, Dec. 2nd tournament
for a most challenging time of chess playing!

P.S.: Because of the large attendance that we've had at various of our
previous tournaments, it is strongly advised that if you want to be
certain of being able to play, you should BRING YOUR OWN CHESS SET,
BARD, AND CLOCK!