My beloved brothers in chess:

I am so happy to be back with you again. I know how much you all
missed me. Remember all the fun we used to have with The Drunken Lord?
I miss him too! I haven't been a regular here since I challenged
everybody to solve a problem in a certain number of moves, and then
called everyone who proved it couldn't be done an idiot. I was kind of
embarrassed, so I stayed away for a while. I've had no one to insult
all these months, no one whose chess rating I can ridicule (even when
I don't know what it is), no one with whom I can enter into lively and
interesting discussions about history. Ah, what good times I've known
here! It's really great to be back.

Some of you will notice I have been doing a much better job
partitioning my multiple personalities. I've decided that I can
establish some good will by posting seemingly sincere questions and
starting a thread. Then I reply to my own posts under the name GEACPS.
Under this persona I am able to dazzle you all again with my
rhetorical prowess and spelling mistakes. I can't believe you didn't
recognize me! Didn't you notice that I never posted again as "Jason"
after the initial post? (Wasn't that subtle of me?) I tried dropping
little hints as "GEACPS", such as writing as if I were in charge of
the thread and berating anyone whom I felt was off topic. After all,
I'd set the topic, so I should know! Other little hints were calling
people names, questioning their chess skills and sexual preferences.
What larks, eh? I just love it! And you thought everyone with
"shaw.ca" after their email address was simply an obnoxious ****!

Well, I just wanted to draw the veil and let you all know how much I
deeply love you. You are my first thought in the morning, and my last
before I hit the hay. Already I'm at work in my little laboratory
cooking up new threads to start and then reply to.

Keep in touch!

Jason

Where's Mongo when you need him?