During the USCF Executive Board meeting on November 17, 2006, Joel
Channing reached under the table and put his hand on Beatriz
Marinello's leg.

Beatriz simply removed the hand from her leg and said nothing about it.

I know about this only because I was sitting next to Beatriz and
witnessed the incident.

Beatriz asked me not to say anything about it, and I have done so.

Until today, when Joel Channing started attacking me again (as he often
does), so I brought it up.

Channing immediately demanded that this be deleted by the moderator.
This was quickly done. The entire thread was deleted, but the debate
has spilled over to other threads and it is now clear that this
controversy is not going to end any time soon.

Joel Channing's answer was clearly not true. Joel claims that Beatriz
was sitting next to Sam Sloan and Channing was sitting on the other
side of a wide table, and thus was too far away to reach under the
table to put his hand on Beatriz's leg.

However, everybody who was at the meeting will know that this is simply
a lie. Beatriz and I were sitting at the end of the table. I was to her
right. Joel Channing was to her left around the corner, so close to her
that I am sure that their legs often bumped into each other by
accident. Channing was easily close enough to Beatriz to put his hand
on her leg.

I admit that I should not have posted this, since Beatriz asked me not
to. However, now that it is out, there is no way to put it back in the
bottle.

Since Joel Channing's answer is clearly not true, I am wondering what I
would say if Beatriz or any other woman had accused me of putting my
hand on her leg during an important business meeting.

Here are some possible things I might say in that situation
(suggestions are welcome):

"Beatriz, I am so sorry that I put my hand on your leg. We were sitting
so close to each other that it happened just by accident."

(Since Joel Channing is believed to drink whiskey during the USCF
business meetings, although nobody really knows what kind of liquid is
in that glass, he might say) "Beatriz I am sorry that I had too much to
drink. I promise that it will not happen again."

Or he might say, "Beatriz, mother nature has built into all men the
natural tendency to put our hands on a woman's leg. We all try to
control ourselves but this time my self control failed. I am sorry and
will try to do better."

That is the best I can come up with right now. Suggestions are welcome.

For those of you who have never met Beatriz Marinello, she is really
quite a beautiful woman, in spite of the terrible picture of her that
appeared on the cover of the November 2003 issue of Chess Life
magazine. She is also immaculately groomed, not a single hair is ever
out of place. I can easily understand why almost any man would want
her.

However, I have managed to control myself. I have never touched her. I
have never even shaken her hand.

Sam Sloan