On Apr 16, 2:18 pm, "
wrote:
On Apr 15, 10:17 am, The Historian
wrote:



On Apr 15, 8:28 am, "Chess One" wrote:

Now, if you people don't care about children....

The standard rant of the Brattleboro Bedlam, that he is the only
person to "care" about something or another. Witness the USCF press
release below:

INNES HIRED TO "CARE ABOUT CHESS"

CROSSVILLE, TN - The United States Chess Federation announced today
that it had hired internationally known Nearly an IM Philip Keith
Innes
to "care about chess in the US", according to USCF Executive Director
Bill Hall. "Nearly an IM Innes has shown a great deal of caring
about US chess, despite his complete absence from organized chess play
or governance, and we at the USCF feel having him care about US chess
is worth the expense of paying him", Hall said. "He KNOWS at
least two native born GMs - in fact the only two the US has, and so he
brings a tremendous background experience to his caring", added USCF
Executive Board Member Don Schultz.

Innes, who posseses the prestigious Nearly an IM title, lives in
Brattleboro, Vermont, where he divides his time between caring about
US
chess and refusing to become a member of his local chess club, state
chess body, Chess Journalists of America, and USCF. The terms of the
deal between Innes and USCF are
not officially known, but off the record sources reveal that Innes
will
be required to stop posting to newsgroups. "We were concerned that
Nearly an IM Innes' newsgroup posts might blunt the full impact of his
caring about US chess," said USCF Executive Board Member Joel
Channing,
"since they could be read by the unimformed as semiliterate, whining
screeds."

This is really well done.

Thank you.

I find it amusing that Innes' textual
analysis has seemed to imply that Neil Brennen is the most likely FSS,

Well, it seems the Innes Most Likely Suspect is whoever is arguing
with him at a given time. Witness his comment about Mike Murray not
being around when the FSS posted.

and this is satire. However, Neil is the one person for whom we have
seen actual satire of Sam Sloan on a regular basis; it sure doesn't
look like the FSS postings to me!

Also, note Mr. Sloan republished one of them, The Story of Poor Little
Hornswaggle, on his website. Without my permission, of course.

Among other things, like this post,
Neil's satires were attempts (good ones in my opinion) to be clever,
not to be simply repulsive.

Jerry Spinrad

Thank you again.

wrote in message
...
Although I am violating my policy of not responding to Phil, I have
absolutely no clue what I am supposed to be accused of.

** Of course, not! You are so busy not responding to certain people, you
naturally don't have time to examine what they say, therefore 'have
absolutely no clue'. As a form of tautological argument, its spot on. As a
form of expression, neither does it contain any curiosity or request to know
anything, thus it is inert.

Given the topic of the thread in which Jerry Sprinrad writes, I think a
defining moment has been reached, as indeed for USCF. Phil Innes


Jerry Spinrad

"Brian Lafferty" wrote in message
news:56uNj.14944$mG1.9081@trndny08...
Chess One wrote:


** Try writing 'amusingly' about how funny you think getting the kids is.


What specifically does "getting the kids" refer to?

Don't ask more questions Lafferty, when nothing depends on receiving an
answer. Last time you asked what something meant you couldn't understand in
a legal context that 'thrown out' was synonymical with 'case dismissed.'

pfft!

Asking for more information becomes a pretence that you are interested in
information itself so that you could evaluate it. But this is shown above to
be hardly any candid or truthful public stance.

Phil Innes



Then maybe someone will satire you, because cheap shots are funny to some
people, who let other people make the jokes for them in case they get
themselves dirty.

Phil Innes


Jerry Spinrad

"SBD" wrote in message
...
On Apr 16, 1:53 pm, "Chess One" wrote:


If Dowd wants to know anything at all, which he don't, then he'll mouth
off
like Kingston, and you will enjoy it, and two other people will chip in,
making 5.


No Phil, its simply that you claimed to serve on a state board
responsible for the welfare of children.

You've claimed this several times and I simply want to know when and
on what board.

Why do you want to know, Dr. Dowd?

If you don't want people to be dismissive of your views, you should be
willing to provide this information. If not, fine. It then becomes
just another Innes lie/misrepresentation.

If you wish to know personal things about others, then you will say why,
otherwise your facetious demands for personal information would be met as
they would anywhere. Why do /you/ want to know about other people's board
memberships and other functions to do with the welfare of children?

Why are you writing in this thread about Hanken's expressions? Is there any
relationship in what you ask and the topic?

To wit: what is the topical result if you understand more or less?

Phil Innes

"SBD" wrote in message
...
On Apr 16, 4:23 pm, "Chess One" wrote:

You tell them if you want, but its OK if you don't because next week I'm
going to tell everybody.

Yes just like you were going to reveal certain emails proving your
various attacks of brain flatulence. Somehow those never surfaced
either.

Who do you want to hold the money? I remember challenging you to my server
records, and I remember you not taking it up. But as I said, I did copy
other people here in this very newsgroup - and after your previous denials I
believe they did mention it in public! Not as to embarrass you, but more on
the 'no good deed goes unpunished line,'

You're big on threats and weak on execution. After a point, no one
believes the little boy crying wolf, Phil.

In consideration of your condition and need to be publicly lovely, then let
you be so. You and I know what's true, and whatever 'no one' will think is
up to them. We both have our needs, and mine is to at least try to be true
to my experience.

Do you know, BTW, why 'no one' created this thread title, and what the topic
actually contains? Perhaps it doesn't exist either, or the subject matter is
not important to you?

Please excuse me from diverting from abstractly negative personal
observations to that of content.

Phil Innes

On Apr 16, 5:44 pm, SBD wrote:
On Apr 16, 4:23 pm, "Chess One" wrote:

You tell them if you want, but its OK if you don't because next week I'm
going to tell everybody.

Yes just like you were going to reveal certain emails proving your
various attacks of brain flatulence. Somehow those never surfaced
either.

You're big on threats and weak on execution. After a point, no one
believes the little boy crying wolf, Phil.

Well, if I'm translating the 'English' of P Innes correctly, it seems
he's going to reveal an email HE sent. It's hardly a revelation that
the Brattleboro Bedlam sends crank-mail to the EB and USCF.

Chess One wrote:
"Brian Lafferty" wrote in message
news:56uNj.14944$mG1.9081@trndny08...
Chess One wrote:

** Try writing 'amusingly' about how funny you think getting the kids is.

What specifically does "getting the kids" refer to?

Don't ask more questions Lafferty, when nothing depends on receiving an
answer. Last time you asked what something meant you couldn't understand in
a legal context that 'thrown out' was synonymical with 'case dismissed.'

pfft!

Asking for more information becomes a pretence that you are interested in
information itself so that you could evaluate it. But this is shown above to
be hardly any candid or truthful public stance.

Phil Innes



Then maybe someone will satire you, because cheap shots are funny to some
people, who let other people make the jokes for them in case they get
themselves dirty.

Phil Innes


Jerry Spinrad



Again Bowel Boy, what did you mean when you wrote "getting the kids."

Chess One wrote:
"SBD" wrote in message
...
On Apr 16, 1:53 pm, "Chess One" wrote:

If Dowd wants to know anything at all, which he don't, then he'll mouth
off
like Kingston, and you will enjoy it, and two other people will chip in,
making 5.

No Phil, its simply that you claimed to serve on a state board
responsible for the welfare of children.

You've claimed this several times and I simply want to know when and
on what board.

Why do you want to know, Dr. Dowd?

If you don't want people to be dismissive of your views, you should be
willing to provide this information. If not, fine. It then becomes
just another Innes lie/misrepresentation.

If you wish to know personal things about others, then you will say why,
otherwise your facetious demands for personal information would be met as
they would anywhere. Why do /you/ want to know about other people's board
memberships and other functions to do with the welfare of children?

Why are you writing in this thread about Hanken's expressions? Is there any
relationship in what you ask and the topic?

To wit: what is the topical result if you understand more or less?

Phil Innes



YOU made the representation regarding state child welfare service. If
you won't provide verifiable specifics, one can only conclude that you
are bull****ting. The idea of you serving on any state board having to
do with child welfare is as frightening as it is sadly amusing.

On Apr 17, 6:40 am, "Chess One" wrote:
"SBD" wrote in message

...

On Apr 16, 4:23 pm, "Chess One" wrote:

You tell them if you want, but its OK if you don't because next week I'm
going to tell everybody.

Yes just like you were going to reveal certain emails proving your
various attacks of brain flatulence. Somehow those never surfaced
either.

Who do you want to hold the money? I remember challenging you to my server
records, and I remember you not taking it up. But as I said, I did copy
other people here in this very newsgroup - and after your previous denials I
believe they did mention it in public! Not as to embarrass you, but more on
the 'no good deed goes unpunished line,'

Phil, you lost that one hands down. You couldn't distinguish a
newsgroup post from an email. Plus your recollection is incredibly off
the mark. I suggest a little brain training for the old noggin.

In consideration of your condition and need to be publicly lovely, then let
you be so.

Say what?


You and I know what's true, and whatever 'no one' will think is
up to them. We both have our needs, and mine is to at least try to be true
to my experience.

What a long strange trip it must have been, Phil.


Do you know, BTW, why 'no one' created this thread title, and what the topic
actually contains? Perhaps it doesn't exist either, or the subject matter is
not important to you?

(Insert Twilight Zone theme music here)


Please excuse me from diverting from abstractly negative personal
observations to that of content.


You have no capacity to discuss content, as evidenced by your turning
a simple question - what is the name of the child welfare agency you
served on and what was your tenure? - into this mud-slinging fest.
That sort of reversal is pretty juvenile.

Answer the simple question. That would be content.

On Apr 16, 2:18 pm, "
wrote:
On Apr 15, 10:17 am, The Historian
wrote:



On Apr 15, 8:28 am, "Chess One" wrote:

Now, if you people don't care about children....

The standard rant of the Brattleboro Bedlam, that he is the only
person to "care" about something or another. Witness the USCF press
release below:

INNES HIRED TO "CARE ABOUT CHESS"

CROSSVILLE, TN - The United States Chess Federation announced today
that it had hired internationally known Nearly an IM Philip Keith
Innes
to "care about chess in the US", according to USCF Executive Director
Bill Hall. "Nearly an IM Innes has shown a great deal of caring
about US chess, despite his complete absence from organized chess play
or governance, and we at the USCF feel having him care about US chess
is worth the expense of paying him", Hall said. "He KNOWS at
least two native born GMs - in fact the only two the US has, and so he
brings a tremendous background experience to his caring", added USCF
Executive Board Member Don Schultz.

Innes, who posseses the prestigious Nearly an IM title, lives in
Brattleboro, Vermont, where he divides his time between caring about
US
chess and refusing to become a member of his local chess club, state
chess body, Chess Journalists of America, and USCF. The terms of the
deal between Innes and USCF are
not officially known, but off the record sources reveal that Innes
will
be required to stop posting to newsgroups. "We were concerned that
Nearly an IM Innes' newsgroup posts might blunt the full impact of his
caring about US chess," said USCF Executive Board Member Joel
Channing,
"since they could be read by the unimformed as semiliterate, whining
screeds."

This is really well done. I find it amusing that Innes' textual
analysis has seemed to imply that Neil Brennen is the most likely FSS,
and this is satire. However, Neil is the one person for whom we have
seen actual satire of Sam Sloan on a regular basis; it sure doesn't
look like the FSS postings to me! Among other things, like this post,
Neil's satires were attempts (good ones in my opinion) to be clever,
not to be simply repulsive.

Jerry Spinrad

Mr. Sloan liked this one so much that he republished it on his
website:

THE STORY OF POOR LITTLE HORNSWAGGLE

Once upon a time there was a cab driver named Spam. Spam was abroad in
a foreign country near the Patapenese border. He had hidden himself in
the luggage compartment of a rackety old shuttle bus. The Patapenese
farmers did not turn him in to the border soldiers, even though they
knew he was hiding in the luggage compartment. He was disguised as a
Spamsonite suitcase.

Spam was risking his life by crossing the Patapenese border. But he
had to see the beautiful little Hornswaggle. Hornswaggle was the most
beautiful woman in her little village of Tarara. She was very young,
and very beautiful, and knew nothing about common sense. She was just
the sort of woman who would fall in love with a man like Spam. Spam
was very famous as a chess journalist, and as a lover. And Hornswaggle
was famous for not knowing the word "no" in any language.

Soon the bus came to the edge of the village of Tarara. The driver
threw Spam out of the luggage compartment of the bus. Spam lay
sprawled in the dirt. Nearby the village goats dropped dung. As Spam
lay in the dirt and dung, he thought he heard a woman having an
orgasm. Then his head began to throb as he came to. But when he looked
up he forgot his headache. There walking towards him was the most
beautiful girl in all Patapenesia. It was Hornswaggle.

Hornswaggle was carrying a tray of flowers. This was strange, as
flowers do not grow in her village of Tarara. But Hornswaggle made up
her own flowers. She would take radish leaves and fungus and form fake
flowers out of them. She would walk the streets of the village with
her radish and fungus flowers on a tray, shouting "Tarara blooms
today!". She did not make any money doing this.

But she walked towards Spam. Spam was still lying on the ground.
Hornswaggle bent over to look at the handsome cabdriving chess
journalist on the ground and dropped her tray of radish leaves and
fungus all over Spam. Spam did not care that he was covered by radish
and fungus flowers. He did not care that he was lying in the dirt and
the dung. He had at last found the famous Hornswaggle.

Hornswaggle helped Spam to stand up. He brushed off some of the dung.
They walked to Hornswaggle's hut in the village of Tarara. The hut was
like the other huts in the village, made of straw and earth, except
the hut of Hornswaggle had a large satellite dish on top of the roof.

Hornswaggle had gotten the satellite dish from a former admirer of
hers. This former admirer was a General for the Patapanese Air Force.
She also had a black and white television set that belonged to a
former admirer. This was not the same former admirer as the man who
had given her the satellite dish. It was not the same admirer who left
the Vasoline, nor the toothbrush, nor the bathrobe. They were from
enlisted men in the Patapanese Army. The satellite dish was a good
one. It got all the Patapenese Air Force broadcasts. She knew where
the plane was at any time. It did not pick up any other channels due
to the high mountains surrounding the village of Tarara. But it also
picked up The Jerry Springer Show. Hornswaggle loved The Jerry Spring
Show. She longed to go to a country where such a program was possible.
Hornswaggle wanted very much to go to America and live in a home with
wheels on it, like the people on The Jerry Springer Show.

Spam moved in with the beautiful Hornswaggle. Each day she would try
to sell her radish leaf and fungus flowers. Each day Spam was trying
to get widows and orphans to invest their life savings in a Go server.
Neither Spam nor Hornswaggle were successful. When Spam would ask
widows and orphans to invest in the Go server, the widows and orphans
would throw goat dung at him. Often Spam would hear a woman having an
orgasm. But it turned out to be goats dropping dung.

One day after not selling any radish and fungus flowers Hornswaggle
was watching The Jerry Springer Show. The theme of the show was "Taxi
drivers and the women who love them". The first guest was a woman with
large breasts. Her name was Passion Flour. She said she had been
deserted by an international chess journalist named Spam, who gave her
a yeast infection. Hornswaggle turned and looked at Spam, who was
hiding under the imitation wicker patio table, which was a token of
admiration by some members of the Patapanese Coast Guard. Spam was
hiding because at one time he was the boyfriend of Passion Flour until
she accused him of making her pregnant which he couldn't do even
though he was the best lover in chess because he wasn't even in the
state at the time and the warrant had his name spelled with an H and
besides she told him she was on the pill or it wasn't her cycle one of
them and he couldn't remember which. Spam knew he did not give her the
yeast infection.

Hornswaggle said to Spam she would like to go to America, so she could
go on The Jerry Springer Show and tell all of America how good a man
he was. Spam said but we will need money for this. All of my millions
are seized by a right wing Christian nun named Sister Bitter, and I
cannot get access to them due to the corrupt state of Virginia wanting
to take my money to give to my children. Something about child
support.

Hornswaggle said we can sell the mud hut we are living in here in the
village of Tarara. The real estate market is good. There is a Tarara
boom today. We can go to America, and you can show me this thing
called Welfare you have talked about.

Yes said Spam but we must go to a place where Passion Flour will not
be able to find me. He thought a moment, during which he heard a woman
having an orgasm. Spam decided to take Hornswaggle to a city called
Allentown, a little city north of the State of Philadelphia.

To be continued....

Spam Scone