HOPPER HOBBLES AND HUMBLES

By Larry Parr

Stan Booz doesn't usually backtrack. It is not his custom to turn
accusations into non-accusation accusations. Still, he is offering up tacit
advice to The Historian, whom he knows to be a weak vessel.

The Historian has accused Sam Sloan of having sex with "children."
Now, then, we all have a pretty fair idea what The Historian had in mind when
speaking of "children."

We have suggested to Sam that he engage The Historian and our Hopper
in dialogue. Get them on record. We admit to not expecting Hopper, of all
people, to bottom out, as it were, by offering a non-accusation dressed up as
an accusation.

Sam Sloan, we are now being told, may have had sex with some girl
under 18 -- one of millions who freely admit to such in assorted sex polls in
the United States. The actor John Agar had sex with Shirley Temple at age 17
and, perhaps, earlier. They were married in 1945 and Shirley was born in 1928.
Down in Ole Miss, the age of consent is 15 without parental consent;
Massachusetts permits marriages from age 12 for girls. Others states are at 13
and 14.

We wait to discover whether The Historian will bail out into a
non-accusation accusation. We fervently hope that he does not. Still, Hopper
is signalling The Historian to beware of what he writes, and we have to be
realists. If Hopper is going flaccid before IT hits the fan, then we cannot
expect someone such as the spineless Historian to keep the lead in his keyboard
pencil. He will likely Jell out.

Still, we hope The Historian will instead prove courageous enough to
let all of his malice hang out for us all to see. We hope he will stick to his
charges and enlarge upon them in that spirit of his that we all know so well.

The Historian has yet to recover from the offer to match him up
against Sam Sloan in a Stanford-Binet intelligence test. That was a few years
back, but we know the truth continues to peck away at the few convultions on
the gent's cerebrum.

For the record, we would put money on Sam and offer good odds.

Oh, heck, we would jointly finance such a test-off with Mr. Booz, and
we could both place a large wager. He could take The Historian, and we would
bet on Mr. Sloan. The stake could be placed in escrow under legally stipulated
payout provisions.

If Mr. Booz responds that Joseph Goebbels would also defeat The
Historian on an intelligence test, we concur. These tests do not address core
questions about a person, which is why The Historian's earlier evident anguish
about the subject was so telling.

Still, it would be valuable to get on record whether Mr. Booz also
believes that The Historian, whom he has rescued on a few occasions, ain't no
quiz kid.

STAN'S BOOZY REPLY

"Parrthenon"

Here, then, are my questions for the Historian:

1. How do you define "children"?

Under the age of 18 and especially under the age of 16.

2. Do you know the names of any children with whom Mr. Sloan has
had sex?

No. I onlt recall his bragging about it on his web site.

3. Can you provide any times and locations?

Thailand. Over two years ago.

4. If you believe that you have heard, ah, "reliable" rumors,
could you dig up these rumors and run them past us here?

His website. I can only testify to what I read there.

5. Do you have testimonies from other persons that Mr. Sloan has
had sex with children?

No. Just sam's admission.

6. If so, could you adduce these testimonies for the inspection
of the rgcp audience after having made your charge?

Sorry, I have no clue to what adduce means.

Bin Larry, you are judged my your heroes. Even if they're a piece of ****.

StanB

"Parrthenon" wrote in message
...

The Historian has yet to recover from the offer to match him up
against Sam Sloan in a Stanford-Binet intelligence test. That was a few
years
back, but we know the truth continues to peck away at the few convultions
on
the gent's cerebrum.

For the record, we would put money on Sam and offer good odds.

Oh, heck, we would jointly finance such a test-off with Mr. Booz,
and
we could both place a large wager. He could take The Historian, and we
would
bet on Mr. Sloan. The stake could be placed in escrow under legally
stipulated
payout provisions.

You confuse education with intelligence. Sam, born with the silver spoon in
his mouth, went to Berkley. No, I'm not so sure Sam is smarter.

STAN'S BOOZY REPLY

This is your best shot? Making fun of my ancestral name? Especially after I
saved your life, when I killed that ****-eating dog.

StanB

STAN'S BOOZY REPLY

This is your best shot? Making fun of my ancestral name? Especially after I
saved your life, when I killed that ****-eating dog.

StanB

I'll bet you have been saving that one.
:-)