University of Nebraska Quarterback Al Lawrence turned in a solid
performance on Saturday afternoon and the Nebraska Blackshirts led by LB
Tom Dorsch rebounded to defeat the Kansas Jayhawks, led by freshman
quarterback sensation Ralph Bowman 24-3.

The victory which was the 25th in a row against Kansas dating back to
1969, brought Nebraska to an 8-2 record and sets up a showdown next week
with Kansas State.

Running back Mike Nolan was benched in favor of perky placekicker and
general smartass, Bruce Draney who rushed for 109 yards on 19 carries,
and also booted a field goal and 3 extra points.

Dorsch picked off two of Bowman's passes, one at the goal line to aid in
the victory.

After the game, Nolan said, "We needed some sparks in the offense, so
coach inserted Draney, even though Draney is not a paid member of the
team." When reminded that colleges don't pay their athletes, Nolan
said, "Oh yeah?".

Al Lawrence said, "I felt higher than USCF adult dues. We really needed
this after our pathetic performance last week where we got our a..es
kicked."

Draney's yards all came in the second half as he spent the first half
haggling over the cost of a diet coke being sold by a concessionaire in
the stands. Draney remarked after the game, "I had as many yards as
Goichberg charges for a Frankenswiss entry fee. It felt really good.
Since I only kicked one field goal, coach said it was alright to give
100% in the second half."

Ralph Bowman said, "They had a pretty good defense, but after organizing
Supernationals in 2001, I've seen far worse." Dorsch said,
I looked up and the ball was in my hands. I hadn't had a gift like that
since Sam Sloan loaned me $20.00 for rent back in the 60's and I went to
Nam so I wouldn't have to pay him back."

On a related note after the game, PSU linebacker Stan Booz was asked
about Joe Paterno and Penn State's worst season in years and he
remarked, "Now is a great time to buy Penn State season tickets. Bring
it on a..hole."

Best Regards,

Bruce

"Bruce Draney" wrote in message
...

On a related note after the game, PSU linebacker Stan Booz was asked
about Joe Paterno and Penn State's worst season in years and he
remarked, "Now is a great time to buy Penn State season tickets. Bring
it on a..hole."

They had dead cats. I could smell them. -- H. Finn

Grr...rock chalk...If only Bill were still alive, our receivers could
catch, our offense could finish from the one-yard line, our reserve QB
wasn't limping and throwing interceptions like rice at a wedding; if
only our defense covered receivers when it's obvious they'll have to
go for a pass on a 4th and 10; if only our kickers could kick and our
players stop getting thrown in jail...

Well, there's always baskbetball season! :-D