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Old July 6th 10, 04:16 PM posted to rec.games.chess.analysis,rec.games.chess.misc,alt.chess,rec.games.chess.computer,rec.games.chess.politics
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On Jul 6, 7:10*am, Mark Houlsby wrote:

Getclub is a piece of poo.


Don't be silly, Alan, it's nowhere near as useful as that. Poo can be
used as fertiliser, for example....


Is fertiliser Olde English for fertilizers?
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Old July 6th 10, 04:17 PM posted to rec.games.chess.analysis,rec.games.chess.misc,alt.chess,rec.games.chess.computer,rec.games.chess.politics
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On 6 July, 16:16, None wrote:
On Jul 6, 7:10*am, Mark Houlsby wrote:



Getclub is a piece of poo.


Don't be silly, Alan, it's nowhere near as useful as that. Poo can be
used as fertiliser, for example....


Is fertiliser Olde English for fertilizers?


No.
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Old July 6th 10, 10:04 PM posted to rec.games.chess.misc,alt.chess,rec.games.chess.politics
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On Jul 6, 11:16*am, None wrote:

Is fertiliser Olde English for fertilizers?



This was *not* another stupid blunder by Mark Troulsby. Given
Troulsby's
track record, it was of course an understandable 'error.' In fact the
British
spell a lot of words with the letter 's' where we Americans use the
letter 'z.'

They also have a long history of oppressing not only certain letters
of the
alphabet, but many other things as well. For example: Catholics, the
Irish
and the Scots, witches, freedom of speech, Puritans, Quakers, and
free
trade. Is it any wonder then that certain 'undesireables' like the
letter 'z' are,
too, given the bum's rush?

Somebody advised Sanny to first learn how to create a (decent)
website,
but he didn't bother explaining *how* to learn this. Think about this
for a
moment. Sanny is assumed to be able to figure out the 'how' on his
own!
Who is being obtuse now -- Sanny, or his worthy advisers?

Here is my view on the matter of creating (yet another) chess
website:
Don't do it!! There are far too many of these to choose from
already, and
it is simply impossible to imagine Sanny ever besting that which is
already
available now. OK, it's the fourth quarter and you are behind by a
hundred
runs. The opponent has the ball right at the net and your goalie has
just
suffered a heart attack. Here comes the putaway shot -- right at
your
head at one hundred miles per hour -- and the racket has just slipped
from
your hand. What do you do: duck... or make another feeble attempt
to
'improve' your chess website -- a strategy you have already proved
beyond
doubt will not work? (Solution below.)

*

*

*

*

*

*

Correct answer: you snatch your falling racket out of midair and
lunge for
the ball. As luck would have it, your instincts 'know' better than
you and
your racket somehow -- miraculously -- meets the ball squarely,
whacking
it right back at your dumbfounded opponent's groin! Ouch, that must
have
hurt. As he falls to the ground helpless, you leap over the net and
give him
a firm rap over the head with your steel racket. Later on... after
he regains
consciousness, you explain that he lost the match by forfeit on
account of
not being able to continue. Having lost, he is now obligated to pay
off the
bet -- by training you how to create a decent website. After many
hours
of no progress in his attempts to 'train' you, he finally decides to
just go
ahead and do it for you, free of charge on account of your unexpected
basketball victory.

Give yourself nine points if you guessed all of these details
right. Two
points if you got the details wrong but answered 'play on.' Subtract
ten
points if you gave up without a fight. Now, find your rating in the
chart
below --

10 points or above: very nearly an IM

5-9 points: Club player

0-4 points: rank beginner

a negative number: checkers player









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Old July 6th 10, 10:16 PM posted to rec.games.chess.misc,alt.chess,rec.games.chess.politics
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On 6 July, 22:04, The Master wrote:
On Jul 6, 11:16*am, None wrote:

Is fertiliser Olde English for fertilizers?


* This was *not* another stupid blunder by Mark Troulsby. *Given
Troulsby's
track record, it was of course an understandable 'error.' *In fact the
British
spell a lot of words with the letter 's' where we Americans use the
letter 'z.'

* They also have a long history of oppressing not only certain letters
of the
alphabet,


This is not true when we play Scrabble.

but many other things as well.
*For example: Catholics, the
Irish
and the Scots, witches, freedom of speech, Puritans, Quakers, and
free
trade.


Nice to see that you're right up-to-date.

Is it any wonder then that certain 'undesireables' like the
letter 'z' are, too, given the bum's rush?


"I don't think that's a very good idea, Artoo, it's a *very* long dro-
o-o-o-op."
---"C3PO" aka Anthony Daniels

* Somebody advised Sanny to first learn how to create a (decent)
website,
but he didn't bother explaining *how* to learn this. *Think about this
for a
moment. *Sanny is assumed to be able to figure out the 'how' on his
own!
Who is being obtuse now -- Sanny, or his worthy advisers?


Neither, in fact YOU are.

* Here is my view on the matter of creating (yet another) chess
website:
Don't do it!! * There are far too many of these to choose from
already, and
it is simply impossible to imagine Sanny ever besting that which is
already
available now. *OK, it's the fourth quarter and you are behind by a
hundred
runs. *The opponent has the ball right at the net and your goalie has
just
suffered a heart attack. *Here comes the putaway shot -- right at
your
head at one hundred miles per hour -- and the racket has just slipped
from
your hand. * What do you do: duck... or make another feeble attempt
to
'improve' your chess website -- a strategy you have already proved
beyond
doubt will not work? *(Solution below.)

*

*

*

*

*

*

*Correct answer: you snatch your falling racket out of midair and
lunge for
the ball. *As luck would have it, your instincts 'know' better than
you and
your racket somehow -- miraculously -- meets the ball squarely,
whacking
it right back at your dumbfounded opponent's groin! *Ouch, that must
have
hurt. *As he falls to the ground helpless, you leap over the net and
give him
a firm rap over the head with your steel racket. * Later on... after
he regains
consciousness, you explain that he lost the match by forfeit on
account of
not being able to continue. * Having lost, he is now obligated to pay
off the
bet -- by training you how to create a decent website. *After many
hours
of no progress in his attempts to 'train' you, he finally decides to
just go
ahead and do it for you, free of charge on account of your unexpected
basketball victory.

* Give yourself nine points if you guessed all of these details
right. *Two
points if you got the details wrong but answered 'play on.' * Subtract
ten
points if you gave up without a fight. *Now, find your rating in the
chart
below --

10 points or above: *very nearly an IM

5-9 points: *Club player

0-4 points: *rank beginner

a negative number: *checkers player


What about English Scrabble players, who use English AND American
spellings?
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Old July 7th 10, 12:49 AM posted to rec.games.chess.misc,alt.chess,rec.games.chess.politics
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On Jul 7, 12:16*am, Mark Houlsby wrote:
What about English Scrabble players, who use English AND American
spellings?


Your name, as an anagram:

Balky Humors
Bah Yolks Rum
Bah Murky Sol

Humor me, a Balkan, by analysing my master chess game. You'll never
know why it's a masterpiece until you analys[z]e it.

RL
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