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Old September 26th 06, 12:34 AM posted to rec.games.chess.politics,rec.games.chess.misc,rec.games.chess.computer
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First recorded activity by ChessBanter: Sep 2006
Posts: 311
Default Kirsan Ilyumzhinov, my dear friend

You may ask: Why do I call Kirsan "My Dear Friend" when he said that
I'm a bum in the past?

I have always been one who runs to the aid of any person who has been
wrongfully accused. Therefore, when rumors started to fly that Kirsan
Ilyumzhinov had personally ordered the murder of journalist Miss Larisa
Yudina, I realized that Kirsan was my dear friend after all. He didn't
do it. She committed suicide. I'm certain of it.

She had suffered multiple knife wounds and a fractured skull. That
proves that she killed herself. If someone wanted her dead, they
wouldn't need to fracture her skull. A single bullet would have done
it.

Miss Yudina was the editor of the only opposition newspaper in
Kalmykia. In editorials published in her newspaper, she had been
accusing my dear friend Kirsan of corruption.
Her paper was Sovietskaya Kalmykia, which Ilyumzhinov had banned and
which had to be driven in from a neighboring region in the trunk of
Yudina's car.

It is, of course, outrageous that anybody would accuse my dear friend
Kirsan of corruption.
Sergei Vaskin, one of three suspects so far detained, worked for Kirsan
Ilyumzhinov, the eternally smiling young president of the Kalmykia
region. Yudina had regularly accused him of corruption. Yudina was the
editor of the only opposition newspaper in Kalmykia, a poor region on
the north-west shores of the Caspian Sea ruled as a personal fief by
Mr. Ilyumzhinov, who owns six Rolls Royces.

What will we poor chess players do if we do not have Kirsan to lead us
any more? Stranger things have happened. I believe in Kirsan. I think
he's the best for chess. I fully endorse him. We need Kirsan.

Kirsan might give me a good job. Allah knows I need it. He may even
lend me of his girls.

Sam Sloan

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