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Old August 15th 03, 04:44 AM
Bruce Draney
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Default Power Outage on Eastern Seaboard Traced to Computer Explosion in New Windsor.

This just in:

FEMA officials and New York and Con-Edison Power officials are looking
into the possibility that the massive power outage this afternoon at
about 4:00 PM was caused by a shortout of the motherboard of a TRS 80
computer in the New Windsor headquarters of USCF.

Acting whatever his title is, Mike Nolan could not be reached for
official comment but denied that USCF is any longer using TRS 80's and
swears that USCF has at least upgraded all systems to IBM 286 models.
What's more since the fire at the New Jersey substation two months ago
was blamed on USCF, the 42 employees at USCF have been careful to drink
their Taco Bell 32 ounce drinks brought in from their personal errands,
away from their computer work stations.

Currently another theory is focusing on the mysterious trailer on the
USCF property whose existence has long been denied by some, yet
acknowledged by others. There is some suspicion that the wiring for
this trailer which was installed in 1911 and has never been replaced,
may have overloaded, causing the entire publications building adjacent
to the trailer to start on fire. When a publications worker working on
some freelance work saw smoke coming through the wall, she panicked and
flipped the circuit breaker causing the main powergrid centered near
Plattsburg north of New Windsor to completely shut down, which in turn
caused a chain reaction that left millions of people without power from
New England all the way to Detroit.

Although New York state officials are upset with the USCF for causing
one of the most massive blackouts in U.S. history, they have decided
that working as an employee of USCF is punishment enough and no further
punitive actions are planned at this time.

The officials do wish to assure everyone that USCF will be leaving the
area soon, and the incidence of power outages and mysterious fires
emanating from New Windsor should decrease substantially, once
Crossville becomes their permanent home.

Best Regards,

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