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Old August 20th 03, 01:25 AM
The Masked Bishop
 
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Default Once again, a call to let the USCF die

Let the USCF die.

Consider it a mercy killing. If that language is too strong for you, then
how about euthanasia? How long would leave your brain-dead relative on a
respirator? Because that is EXACTLY what you are doing when you fire off the
$40 check every year.

If that's too steep for you, rubber-neck, try this one. Consider exactly
what you are getting for your coin. Three things, by my count:

1) The fabled USCF rating. For those of you out there who still get a
hard-on about your rating, ask yourself some fair questions: how much has
your rating gone up in the past decade? Will it ever really change? Does it
really matter, if you love playing chess?

2) The not-so-fabled subscription to Chess Life. As the recent rather
unbelievable editorial from fun-loving John McCrary attests, this
"periodical" is so satisfyingly out-of-date that the editors can't even be
bothered to correct embarassing references to wonderful executives who, uh,
resigned. For those who can look beyond such cringers, surely you aren't
re-upping just for the joy of Key Crackers or Larry Evans monthly rave. Buy
their books instead...that's why they are in the rag in the first place, to
shill their books.

3) The solemn "right" to play in USCF tournaments. Oh yeah, those. Tell me
you really live for those four-day long events that eat up your precious
holiday weekends. Tell me you just adore spending a couple hundred bucks to
lose to the slumming grandmaster corps. And gee, after all the over-priced
bad food, wrecked back muscless from days sitting on folding chairs, endless
boring hours waiting for pairings in completely female-free lobbies, and the
thrill of watching theYerminator self-destruct again, your rating went up,
right?

Indiana, let it go.

Imagine, no more USCF. What will fill the void? I dunno, but it's kind of
exciting to wonder, isn't it? Most of us who matter have already taken our
bow and play on the Internet. Sorry, we're just not pining for the chance to
smell your body odor over a four-hour over-the-board exploration of the
London system. We have LIVES. We have WIVES. We have CHILDREN, and THINGS TO
DO on our weekends and our blessed three and four day holidays.

We love chess, and we love to play it, but we have made the decision to stop
associating with one of the biggest loser organizations in the history of
non-profits, and MOVE ON to BETTER WAYS. It's a new century, folks. The USCF
is not going to make the hurdle. And YOU need to leave the cradle, and help
us build the future. Big hint, for the blinkered: you can't build out of
ashes and rubble.

So take a powder. DON'T renew. Let it mercifully DIE. Don't keep shelling
out your coin to this pointless, useless, and finally silly organization
that is doing NOTHING for you, the adult player. Move on...it's a brave new
world, and we want you to come along for the ride.

The Masked Bishop


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Old August 20th 03, 02:53 AM
RSHaas
 
Posts: n/a
Default Once again, a call to let the USCF die

Bruce does a great job as the Masked Bishop.
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Old August 20th 03, 04:43 AM
The Masked Bishop
 
Posts: n/a
Default Once again, a call to let the USCF die

Sorry Bruce, but join the blind leading the blind (you'll be right at home
in New Windsor). I be not Tim.

Regards, TMB


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Old August 20th 03, 04:54 AM
The Masked Bishop
 
Posts: n/a
Default Once again, a call to let the USCF die

I was shocked to find out he has a wife. I wonder if he told Michelle?

Um, Michelle IS my wife...we got hitched in Ios six months ago...thus my
long goodbye from this cozy cyberplace. What, you thought she had a future
with Mr. Ally McBeal?

I also check in every season or so to see if there are any broads finally
showing up. There never are, to this group's collective eternal
embarassment, but as Robbie Fulks once said, ain't no harm in hopin.'

And do me a favor, any more speculators out there. If you're gonna try to
unmask the Bish, pick someone who ISN'T currently embalmed in the Matt
Nemmers Hall of Shame, because I can assure you, pallies, I ain't there. Oh
yeah, speaking of the mug shots, Sloanie...the 60s Berkeley used-book store
beat poet on the make look is NOT coming back, even with your rather
stunning college try. Get a razor, we're at war.

If the Nemster wants a photo, well, he need only ask. But I gotta clean my
cowl, first...


TMB


  #5   Report Post  
Old August 20th 03, 05:31 AM
LeModernCaveman
 
Posts: n/a
Default Once again, a call to let the USCF die

Let the USCF die.

Consider it a mercy killing. If that language is too strong for you, then
how about euthanasia? How long would leave your brain-dead relative on a
respirator? Because that is EXACTLY what you are doing when you fire off the
$40 check every year.

If that's too steep for you, rubber-neck, try this one. Consider exactly
what you are getting for your coin. Three things, by my count:

1) The fabled USCF rating. For those of you out there who still get a
hard-on about your rating, ask yourself some fair questions: how much has
your rating gone up in the past decade? Will it ever really change? Does it
really matter, if you love playing chess?

2) The not-so-fabled subscription to Chess Life. As the recent rather
unbelievable editorial from fun-loving John McCrary attests, this
"periodical" is so satisfyingly out-of-date that the editors can't even be
bothered to correct embarassing references to wonderful executives who, uh,
resigned. For those who can look beyond such cringers, surely you aren't
re-upping just for the joy of Key Crackers or Larry Evans monthly rave. Buy
their books instead...that's why they are in the rag in the first place, to
shill their books.

3) The solemn "right" to play in USCF tournaments. Oh yeah, those. Tell me
you really live for those four-day long events that eat up your precious
holiday weekends. Tell me you just adore spending a couple hundred bucks to
lose to the slumming grandmaster corps. And gee, after all the over-priced
bad food, wrecked back muscless from days sitting on folding chairs, endless
boring hours waiting for pairings in completely female-free lobbies, and the
thrill of watching theYerminator self-destruct again, your rating went up,
right?

Indiana, let it go.

Imagine, no more USCF. What will fill the void? I dunno, but it's kind of
exciting to wonder, isn't it? Most of us who matter have already taken our
bow and play on the Internet. Sorry, we're just not pining for the chance to
smell your body odor over a four-hour over-the-board exploration of the
London system. We have LIVES. We have WIVES. We have CHILDREN, and THINGS TO
DO on our weekends and our blessed three and four day holidays.

We love chess, and we love to play it, but we have made the decision to stop
associating with one of the biggest loser organizations in the history of
non-profits, and MOVE ON to BETTER WAYS. It's a new century, folks. The USCF
is not going to make the hurdle. And YOU need to leave the cradle, and help
us build the future. Big hint, for the blinkered: you can't build out of
ashes and rubble.

So take a powder. DON'T renew. Let it mercifully DIE. Don't keep shelling
out your coin to this pointless, useless, and finally silly organization
that is doing NOTHING for you, the adult player. Move on...it's a brave new
world, and we want you to come along for the ride.

The Masked Bishop


When I said this 10-15 years ago all I heard was how great the organization
was, and how our juniors would be dominating the world championship cycle by
now.

USCF could be saved, it could even THRIVE, but what's the point in showing them
how if they think they know better, even if they don't?




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Old August 20th 03, 05:55 AM
John Fernandez
 
Posts: n/a
Default Once again, a call to let the USCF die

The biggest fear about the USCF collapsing, for me, is that some guy like
Richard Peterson or Stan Vaughan could swoop in and hoodwink one or two
important people into thinking that their organizations are good.

Then we're REALLY ****ed.

John Fernandez
  #7   Report Post  
Old August 20th 03, 06:19 AM
Bruce Draney
 
Posts: n/a
Default Once again, a call to let the USCF die

The Masked Bishop wrote:

Sorry Bruce, but join the blind leading the blind (you'll be right at home
in New Windsor). I be not Tim.

Regards, TMB


It was a joke son. Why would I be at home in New Windsor? I'm not even
a USCF member anymore and haven't been since last September.

It was actually a humorous, but somewhat obscure reference to a rant by
Bob Smith a couple years back when he accused Tim Redman of being you,
in an angry e-mail exchange.

My reaction at the time was that this was probably the most
unintentionally funny thing someone at USCF had said in some time.
Bob Smith actually believed it to be true, which was even more
hilarious.

Best Regards,

Bruce
  #8   Report Post  
Old August 20th 03, 02:04 PM
Chris
 
Posts: n/a
Default Once again, a call to let the USCF die

Can we give this guy a section in Chess Life? I might change my mind and
decide it's worth keeping.

Chris


"The Masked Bishop" wrote in message
.com...
I was shocked to find out he has a wife. I wonder if he told Michelle?



Um, Michelle IS my wife...we got hitched in Ios six months ago...thus my
long goodbye from this cozy cyberplace. What, you thought she had a future
with Mr. Ally McBeal?

I also check in every season or so to see if there are any broads finally
showing up. There never are, to this group's collective eternal
embarassment, but as Robbie Fulks once said, ain't no harm in hopin.'

And do me a favor, any more speculators out there. If you're gonna try to
unmask the Bish, pick someone who ISN'T currently embalmed in the Matt
Nemmers Hall of Shame, because I can assure you, pallies, I ain't there.

Oh
yeah, speaking of the mug shots, Sloanie...the 60s Berkeley used-book

store
beat poet on the make look is NOT coming back, even with your rather
stunning college try. Get a razor, we're at war.

If the Nemster wants a photo, well, he need only ask. But I gotta clean my
cowl, first...


TMB




  #9   Report Post  
Old August 20th 03, 04:36 PM
ASCACHESS
 
Posts: n/a
Default Once again, a call to let the USCF die

The biggest fear about the USCF collapsing, for me, is that some guy like
Richard Peterson or Stan Vaughan could swoop in and hoodwink one or two
important people into thinking that their organizations are good.

John Fernandez


How so John?

If our system provides instant ratings updates, is that worse?
If you can look up a players history along with the crosstables of all his
events, is that bad?
If local clubs can upload stories and pictures of their events to our Webzine,
is this bad?
Has USCF been able to accomplish any of this?

USCF isn't a religion John.

Richard Peterson
  #10   Report Post  
Old August 20th 03, 04:40 PM
Mr. Plow
 
Posts: n/a
Default Once again, a call to let the USCF die

Hmm, getting rid of one regime without being adequately prepared to have
another step in and fill the void. Sounds familiar.


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