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Old May 27th 04, 02:00 PM
SOUSCF2003
 
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Default Sloan's trip to China

Sam Sloan goes on a trip to China. While in China, he is very sexually
promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time. A week after
arriving back home in the States, he awakes one morning to find his
penis covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he
immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen
anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to
return in two days for the results.
Sloan returns a couple of days later and the doctor says: "I've got
bad news for you. You've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and
almost unheard of here. We know very little about it".
The man looks a little perplexed and says: "Well, give me a shot or
something and fix me up, doc".
The doctor answers: "I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to
have to amputate your penis".
Sloan screams in horror, "Absolutely not! I want a second opinion".
The doctor replies: "Well, it's your choice. Go ahead if you want, but
surgery is your only choice".
The next day, Sloan seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll
know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his penis and
proclaims: "Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Very lare disease".
Sloan says to the doctor: "Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what
we can do? My American doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis?"
The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs: "Stupid Amelican docta,
always want to opelate. Make more money, that way. No need to
opelate!"
"Oh, Thank God!", Sloan replies (momentarily forgetting he is an
athiest).
"Yes", says the Chinese doctor, "You no worry! Wait two weeks and it
fall off by itself!"
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Old May 28th 04, 03:51 AM
Jerome Bibuld
 
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Default Sloan's trip to China

"souscf",

Heil Dubya!

A representative bit of United Statesian racism, but only a variation on a joke
told among GIs during the Second Great Imperialist War of the 20th Century
(which you probably call WWII). In this joke, of course, because we were
stationed in Italy, the diseased GI, goes from the Battalion aid station, where
he sees a lieutenant, through Division, where he sees a captain, right up to
Army, where he sees a colonel, who is a realio trulio urologist, before
getting a pass to go to a "local" doctor. I don't think it was racist then,
because the joke was on the poor young kid and the Army DOCTORS -- and lacked
the phony massacred English of yours. As I recall, the punch line was: "Cut,
cut, cut. Cut, cut, cut. That's all these American doctors think about.
Leave it alone. It'll fall off by itself."

Racism snipped.

Heute Uhmuhrikkka, Afghanistan, Irak und Hati. Morgen die ganze Welt!

Uhmuhrikkka, Uhmuhrikkka ber Alles!

(The more information that comes out about the attacks on the Twin Towers and
the Pentagon of 11 September 2001 the more it appears that those attacks were
organized by the rulers of the United States and were intended to have the same
effect on the people of the United States that the Reichstag fire had on the
people of Germany in 1933.)

Fight terrorism! Dissolve the CIA and disarm the Pentagon! (I have watched
the hearings of the Commission to investigate the attacks on the Twin Towers
and the Pentagon of 11 September 2001. As a result, I have become convinced
that every one of the witnesses and their four Presidents - and every one of
the Commissioners - should be tried for:
(1. Conspiracy to commit terrorism; and/or
(2. Commission of terrorist acts; and/or
(3. Conspiracy to commit murder; and/or
(4. Commission of murder; and/or
(5. Treason; and/or
(6. Suborning one or more of the above acts.)

Fraternally,

Jerome Bibuld



The joke is "older" than you are, I'm sure. Congratulations on discovering it,
asshole.


gens una sumus
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Old May 28th 04, 04:49 AM
Sam Sloan
 
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Default Sloan's trip to China

I did actually sleep with a Mongolian Girl from Inner Mongolia in the
Chou Yuan Hotel in Beijing China in 1985. Seven police officers broke
into our room, arrested the girl who I never saw again, and detained
me for a day.

However, I still have mine. It has not fallen off, at least not yet.

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Old May 28th 04, 05:27 AM
NoMoreChess
 
Posts: n/a
Default Sloan's trip to China

..
To each his own (myopic paranoia, that is):


While Jerome Bibuld saw the references to China/imperfect English as
"racist," I saw them as aiding the believe-ability of this story, as a rare
disease in such an isolated culture would be far less likely to arouse
disbelief at the idea of there being no known cure, and so forth. In
particular, the alleged symptoms (green and purple spots) seemed most unusual.
Of all the countries in the world, what better choice than one which built a
wall around itself, and has its own languages, religions, and culture?



BTW Sam, I know it's been more than two weeks since your return, but ginseng,
steeped in Manchurian orange oil until fully dissolved, *was* the cure. Sorry
for the unfortunate delay. Better luck "next time."



and lacked the phony massacred English of yours.


I agree that his rendition was phony.

The Chinese (among others) have no "article" equating to our "the" and "a,"
and thus have a difficult time always remembering to insert such "meaningless"
words at the proper place. In addition, their alphabet is nothing like our
own, so not only is it difficult for them to learn Engrish, it bery difficult
for *us* to rearn Chinese!


Methinks Mr. Bibuld -- in his never-ending battle against racism -- missed
that the butt of this joke was not the Chinese, but rather, Sam Sloan.
In his version, the Italians are not the butt, but rather, Army doctors and
reckless soldiers, along with a subtle jab at a bureaucracy which requires so
many steps before reaching an appropriate level (doctor).



Heute Uhmuhrikkka, Afghanistan, Irak und Hati. Morgen die ganze Welt!



Note that a paranoid, raving linatic might well interpret the above as
racist, and anti-German.
Of course, a rational being can "interpret" that only the *Nazis* are being
targetted here, with the German language being used to supply the invisible
thread which connects them to...

Uhmuhrikkka, Uhmuhrikkka ber Alles!





The joke is "older" than you are, I'm sure. Congratulations on discovering
it, asshole.



IMO, Bibuld has this precisely backwards -- he is the one being an asshole.


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Old May 28th 04, 06:08 AM
Cha
 
Posts: n/a
Default Sloan's trip to China

I did **** your mom.

"Sam Sloan" wrote in message
...
I did actually sleep with a Mongolian Girl from Inner Mongolia in the
Chou Yuan Hotel in Beijing China in 1985. Seven police officers broke
into our room, arrested the girl who I never saw again, and detained
me for a day.

However, I still have mine. It has not fallen off, at least not yet.





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Old May 28th 04, 08:18 AM
newsnewsnews
 
Posts: n/a
Default Sloan's trip to China

BTW Sam, I know it's been more than two weeks since your return, but
ginseng,
steeped in Manchurian orange oil until fully dissolved, *was* the cure.

Sorry
for the unfortunate delay. Better luck "next time."


It's always painful to watch an idiot embarass himself by trying to be
clever. It is like watching a turtle turned over on it's back struggle
fruitlessly to get back on it's feet. This imbecile "NoMoreChess" makes
down's syndrome cases feel good about their intellect.


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Old May 28th 04, 02:19 PM
Chess One
 
Posts: n/a
Default News Round-up - BEST POSTS

FRIDAY'S NEWS ROUND-UP AND PRIZE-GIVING

(1) Best Post - Trolling

It's always painful to watch an idiot embarass himself by trying to be
clever. It is like watching a turtle turned over on it's back struggle
fruitlessly to get back on it's feet. This imbecile "NoMoreChess" makes
down's syndrome cases feel good about their intellect.


The panel has decided that this post is written by "anon B" who is writing
about "Anon A", a poster NoMoreChess has apparently contradicted during the
past week. The panel also decided that Anon B and Anon A are the same
person.

The post contains an assortment of mixed metaphors, inadvertently suggesting
that the turtle tries to regain its feet because it can't find any fruit
while upside down, or possibly can't regain its feet because of a dearth of
fruit generally. Nick's opinion may vary.

The post does not contain any mention to chess and scores 100% on the ad
hominem scale.

The post only comments on the rights or abilities of anyone else to comment,
rather than lowering itself to actually mention content.

It also includes one of the 3 mandatory elements necessary to win a prize,
mentioning at least one of the following:

*drug-abuse by fellow writer

*fearless clinical analysis of fellow writer's intellect

[special thanks by the panel for avoiding the normative 'moron' and
utilizing 'imbecile' however, the writer does not understand the definition
of his own terms and that 'idiot' contradicts 'imbecile']

*mock sympathy as rhetorical advice [some marks were lost because the writer
forgot the prescription to fix sad state of affairs]

Cordially, The Panel


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Old May 28th 04, 10:51 PM
Fifiela
 
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Default Sloan's trip to China

She did it for free.

More likely for a passport or visa or green card.
  #9   Report Post  
Old June 1st 04, 09:56 PM
StanB
 
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Default Sloan's trip to China


"Fifiela" wrote in message
...
She did it for free.

More likely for a passport or visa or green card.


Two packs of ciggies.

StanB


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Old June 2nd 04, 04:43 AM
michael atkins
 
Posts: n/a
Default Sloan's trip to China

On Fri, 28 May 2004 14:39:40 GMT, (Sam Sloan)
wrote:

On Fri, 28 May 2004 03:49:58 GMT,
(Sam Sloan)
wrote:

I did actually sleep with a Mongolian Girl from Inner Mongolia in the
Chou Yuan Hotel in Beijing China in 1985. Seven police officers broke
into our room, arrested the girl who I never saw again, and detained
me for a day.

However, I still have mine. It has not fallen off, at least not yet.


I have just started to wonder again about what happened to that girl.


She was kidnapped by overseas Virginia State Police undercover agents
and has been held in Powatan State Prison under an assumed name for
many years.


I was told that in all likelyhood she was sent to prison for three
years.

If she was pregnant they would probably have demanded that she have an
abortion.

If she refused, could she refuse?

It is possible that I have a Chinese baby out there?

No, I do not have a picture of the girl. She was somewhat fat and very
ugly. Nobody wanted her. I met her at the Beijing Hotel, in the coffee
shop. I honestly took her to bed because I felt sorry for her.

Is there anybody in Beijing who could trace her whereabouts?

Sam Sloan

Sam Sloan for USCF Executive Board website is at
http://www.samsloan.com/chess.htm

Sam Sloan for Congress website is at
http://www.samsloan.com/candidates.htm

You can also visit my eBay store at
http://stores.ebay.com/Sam-Sloans-Store

The Chess Games of Sam Sloan
http://www.chessgames.com/player/sam_sloan.html


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