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Old June 17th 04, 08:36 PM
GMGorAnTOMIC
 
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Default Chess Lesson

Some fool think like Ostap Bender, I am Turton. Turton is not me is another
great grandmaster. Turton have great strategy when playing in chess and
checker Internet club - when he face mat from opponent, he push pawn to 8th
rank and shout "King me"! That way, 2 kings, no mat. True genius.


There is fake; he post from .yu extension. Be careful! This is not great
Internet grandmaster, is little boy in Serbia playing with computer.

But time for chess lesson for all brave chessplayers. Great discovery by me,
great grandmaster!

All chess books say piece such as bishop worth 3 pawns, queen 9, and so on.
Also say pawn worth 3 moves.

I discover however that each piece, yes, even queen worth 1 move. Look at
proof:

I play with friend on Chess21 (he is also great grandmaster) following game:

Take away all pieces but king and pawns - 7 pieces take away - 7 moves:

1. e4 2. e5 3. e6 4. g4 5. g5 6. g6 7. exf7 shahmat

Then he leave me with bishop:

1. e4 2. e5 3. e6 4. Bc4 5. exf7 shamat - see with strong bishop, don't even
need 6 moves, 5 enough.

True for all pieces.

Homework: Work out other mats, then play on chess 21. But if I am there,
bother me only if you are also GM like me.

Lesson 2 soon! All secrets of chess school of Tomic revealed! Brave
chessplayer, remember memory of Alekhine and Botvinnik! And Lesson 3 will show
my stay in asylum where I play fellow great Fischer - well, Joe Fischer is
still Fischer!
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Old June 18th 04, 12:01 AM
Angelo DePalma
 
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Default Chess Lesson

Dear GM Groan Atomic,

Can I take lessons from you? I am only an Internet Expert as of highest
rating ever achieved due to some extraneous, gratuitous mind-altering
substances ingested last year. Usually I could not achieve "mat" with three
Damsels vs. a lone Shah so you could call me Internet Patzer. Next to you we
are all lowly worms.

Also, can you teach me your peculiar linguistic ways? I think it would help
me pick up Russki Chess Mamas at big tournaments. Time by I used to think
their daughters were cute. Now, hee hee hee I am old as Petar Trifunovic's
great grandfather.

Aide u pisdu matrinu!

Angelo




"GMGorAnTOMIC" wrote in message
...
Some fool think like Ostap Bender, I am Turton. Turton is not me is

another
great grandmaster. Turton have great strategy when playing in chess and
checker Internet club - when he face mat from opponent, he push pawn to

8th
rank and shout "King me"! That way, 2 kings, no mat. True genius.


There is fake; he post from .yu extension. Be careful! This is not great
Internet grandmaster, is little boy in Serbia playing with computer.

But time for chess lesson for all brave chessplayers. Great discovery by

me,
great grandmaster!

All chess books say piece such as bishop worth 3 pawns, queen 9, and so

on.
Also say pawn worth 3 moves.

I discover however that each piece, yes, even queen worth 1 move. Look at
proof:

I play with friend on Chess21 (he is also great grandmaster) following

game:

Take away all pieces but king and pawns - 7 pieces take away - 7 moves:

1. e4 2. e5 3. e6 4. g4 5. g5 6. g6 7. exf7 shahmat

Then he leave me with bishop:

1. e4 2. e5 3. e6 4. Bc4 5. exf7 shamat - see with strong bishop, don't

even
need 6 moves, 5 enough.

True for all pieces.

Homework: Work out other mats, then play on chess 21. But if I am there,
bother me only if you are also GM like me.

Lesson 2 soon! All secrets of chess school of Tomic revealed! Brave
chessplayer, remember memory of Alekhine and Botvinnik! And Lesson 3 will

show
my stay in asylum where I play fellow great Fischer - well, Joe Fischer is
still Fischer!



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Old June 18th 04, 02:12 AM
GMGorAnTOMIC
 
Posts: n/a
Default Chess Lesson

Dear GM Groan Atomic,

Can I take lessons from you? I am only an Internet Expert as of highest
rating ever


Yes, but you must first learn manners when speaking with great Internet GM.

I have friend who run school of beauty and charm in my town. She is of course
Internet Grandmistress in Beauty, and hold two norms for Grandmistress in
Charm.

I have her contact you for details of your banking number so she can mail you
first lesson. Manners good enough, I teach chess.

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