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Old June 25th 04, 02:11 PM
Dan Heisman
 
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Default Twas the Night Before the World Open

....with apologies to Major Henry Livingston, Jr.

The World Open starts here at the Adam's Mark Hotel in Philadelphia
tomorrow, so that gave me inspiration:

Twas the night before the World Open and all thru the 'Mark
Not a hustler was stirring - they're still at the park;
All the sandbaggers were hung on the pre-reg on the door
In hopes that Saint Bill would not raise their floor;

The class players were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of $10K danced in their heads;
And From with his Gambit and I with my lesson
Had just settled down for any early summer session,

When out on the floor there arose such a clatter
I sprang from the board to see what was the matter,
Away to the TD room I flew like a flash,
Tore open the door and gazed at the cash.

Of course at the heart of my long-term strife
My picture unseen in 38 years of Chess Life.
But what to my wandering eyes should there be,
But a portable computer and eight tiny TD,

With a thin wiry ED, so lively, not still,
I knew in a moment it must be Saint Bill.
More rapid than dragons his judges they came,
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name:

Now, Steve! now, Sophia! now, Dana and Harold!
On, Walter! on, Mike! on, Ernie and Carol!
To the top of the GM room! To the demo boards on the wall!
Now rule away! Rule away! Rule away all! ...


If you enjoyed this, you might like more of my chess humor:
http://mywebpages.comcast.net/danhei...ting_Chess.htm
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Old June 25th 04, 06:52 PM
ASCACHESS
 
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Default Twas the Night Before the World Open


Twas the night before the World Open and all thru the 'Mark
Not a hustler was stirring - they're still at the park;
All the sandbaggers were hung on the pre-reg on the door
In hopes that Saint Bill would not raise their floor;


Dan,
You are a multi talented fellow. That was very creative.

Rp
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Old June 25th 04, 10:57 PM
Tom Klem
 
Posts: n/a
Default Twas the Night Before the World Open

Ah yes, Old Saint Bill.

Thoughts of him crashing down my chimney abound.

Tom Klem

"ASCACHESS" wrote in message
...

Twas the night before the World Open and all thru the 'Mark
Not a hustler was stirring - they're still at the park;
All the sandbaggers were hung on the pre-reg on the door
In hopes that Saint Bill would not raise their floor;


Dan,
You are a multi talented fellow. That was very creative.

Rp



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Old June 26th 04, 02:56 PM
SerbTalentInc
 
Posts: n/a
Default Goran Tomic at World Open

Tomic walks to registration desk, encountering the always smiling Bill G.

Tomic: I want to enter tournament, Grandmaster section. I am famous grandmaster
from Serbia.

Bill G: Yes, we will put you in the open section. (Looks up FIDE list on
computer).

Tomic: No open section. I grandmaster, sure to win against chess criminals from
America.

Bill G.: I dont see your name on the FIDE list. But we can still enter you in
the open section. What is your approximate rating?

Tomic: I 2706, Grandmaster.

Bill G: In which country?

Tomic: I come from Serbia, but have grandmaster title on chess 21.

Bill G: You have got to be kidding.

Tomic: You chess criminal too? Shutting up now, and give me my free entry into
Grandmaster section.

Bill G: I am sorry, you will have to pay the full entry. Please talk to Michael
Atkins over there. (Walks away, shaking head).

Tomic: Free entry, Grandmaster.

MA: As Bill said, you are not on the list and must pay. Now, with late fees,
that will be three hundred...

Tomic: Three hundred? Be quiet fool, is free for grandmaster.

MA: Sir, we don't recognize that title.

Tomic: Also, you change time control for me. One minute games, so I can shine
best and show full glory.

MA: Sir...

Tomic: Listen, I write Booby Fischer, and he tell me to have a good day. So if
you are not chess criminal and honor Booby, you will give free entry and change
time control. You would do for Booby if you honor him.

MA: Carol!

CJ appears on the scene, beats the crap out of Goran, and throws him out of the
Adam's Mark unceremoniously.
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Old June 27th 04, 05:17 AM
PhilDPage
 
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Default Twas the Night Before the World Open

How many showed up for the World Open?

PhilDPage
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Old June 27th 04, 07:06 AM
Paul Rubin
 
Posts: n/a
Default Twas the Night Before the World Open

(Dan Heisman) writes:
Twas the night before the World Open and all thru the 'Mark ...


Nice ;-)
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Old June 27th 04, 10:55 AM
NoMoreChess
 
Posts: n/a
Default Twas the Night Before the World Open

..
I looked under that table and Sam Sloan was not sleeping there -- what time
did you say he gets up?


-- Adam S. Mark


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Old June 28th 04, 01:57 AM
Matt Nemmers
 
Posts: n/a
Default Twas the Night Before the World Open

Excellent! Very good, Dan!

Regards,

Matt

"Dan Heisman" wrote in message
om...
...with apologies to Major Henry Livingston, Jr.

The World Open starts here at the Adam's Mark Hotel in Philadelphia
tomorrow, so that gave me inspiration:

Twas the night before the World Open and all thru the 'Mark
Not a hustler was stirring - they're still at the park;
All the sandbaggers were hung on the pre-reg on the door
In hopes that Saint Bill would not raise their floor;

The class players were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of $10K danced in their heads;
And From with his Gambit and I with my lesson
Had just settled down for any early summer session,

When out on the floor there arose such a clatter
I sprang from the board to see what was the matter,
Away to the TD room I flew like a flash,
Tore open the door and gazed at the cash.

Of course at the heart of my long-term strife
My picture unseen in 38 years of Chess Life.
But what to my wandering eyes should there be,
But a portable computer and eight tiny TD,

With a thin wiry ED, so lively, not still,
I knew in a moment it must be Saint Bill.
More rapid than dragons his judges they came,
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name:

Now, Steve! now, Sophia! now, Dana and Harold!
On, Walter! on, Mike! on, Ernie and Carol!
To the top of the GM room! To the demo boards on the wall!
Now rule away! Rule away! Rule away all! ...


If you enjoyed this, you might like more of my chess humor:
http://mywebpages.comcast.net/danhei...ting_Chess.htm



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Old June 28th 04, 02:29 AM
StanB
 
Posts: n/a
Default Twas the Night Before the World Open

You have too much time on your hands.


"Dan Heisman" wrote in message
om...
...with apologies to Major Henry Livingston, Jr.

The World Open starts here at the Adam's Mark Hotel in Philadelphia
tomorrow, so that gave me inspiration:

Twas the night before the World Open and all thru the 'Mark
Not a hustler was stirring - they're still at the park;
All the sandbaggers were hung on the pre-reg on the door
In hopes that Saint Bill would not raise their floor;

The class players were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of $10K danced in their heads;
And From with his Gambit and I with my lesson
Had just settled down for any early summer session,

When out on the floor there arose such a clatter
I sprang from the board to see what was the matter,
Away to the TD room I flew like a flash,
Tore open the door and gazed at the cash.

Of course at the heart of my long-term strife
My picture unseen in 38 years of Chess Life.
But what to my wandering eyes should there be,
But a portable computer and eight tiny TD,

With a thin wiry ED, so lively, not still,
I knew in a moment it must be Saint Bill.
More rapid than dragons his judges they came,
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name:

Now, Steve! now, Sophia! now, Dana and Harold!
On, Walter! on, Mike! on, Ernie and Carol!
To the top of the GM room! To the demo boards on the wall!
Now rule away! Rule away! Rule away all! ...


If you enjoyed this, you might like more of my chess humor:
http://mywebpages.comcast.net/danhei...ting_Chess.htm



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